Finding What You’re Looking For

The world of spanking has many different types of play.  Some may seek role play, others Dom-sub play, others punishments for actual behaviors, others something sensual, others something therapeutic, others fun with learning about different implements, and the list could go on - and on - and on some more.  While we can’t assume that everyone else is into the same things we are, there are some strategies for finding your best match.

Know Your Own Interests

As the Bard wrote, “To thine own self be true.”  Know what you’re looking for and what you’re willing to experiment with.  What are your definite “yes’s?”  What are your definite “no’s?”  What are the forms of play that get your attention and you’d like to try out?  Of course, the answers to these questions may change - sometimes dramatically - over the course of your time in the scene.

Have an Elevator Pitch

When you are reaching out to someone for the first time, how do you describe yourself and your interests?  When someone asks you what you like, what do you say?  It’s helpful to have an “elevator pitch” - that is, a quick answer that captures the essence of who you are and what your interests are - which you can in turn personalize, as needed, to illustrate how you “fit” what another has listed in their profile.  However, it’s not always recommended to have a saved paragraph that you just copy and paste to every new contact; many notice this and find it impersonal and won’t respond.   

Know How to Use Filters

Whappz allows users to tag their interests, and these, in turn, can be used in searches.  The filters are the terms in yellow that appear at the bottom of profiles.  Select those that are most relevant to you and use them to search for others who may match your interests. 

Introduce Yourself, Especially When You’re Not Local

When contacting those who live outside your local area, recognize that they may wonder why you are contacting them from a distance.  Some may dismiss messages from other areas, unless there is a compelling reason to answer them.  For this reason, if you reach out beyond your area - which is great! - include a description of what you’re looking for, and especially be sure to note if you visit or plan to visit that location. 

Browse

There are many profiles!  Check them out and spend some time on the website or app.  Look at profiles in your area, those that are new, those that are trending, and those that match your search criteria - enjoy the opportunity to explore our world!

In the spanking world, there is much variety and there are many players.  Keep at it and you’ll find those who match your interests, and hopefully a great play session will result!

Excerpted from Strict Sirs and Bad Lads: The World of Male Spanking (by KCGuy and Paddleswats, book forthcoming 2023)