Solving Hosting Problems

Many times we find that perfect spanking match but neither of us can host.  What are some possible solutions? What are some creative hosting options? 

Play smart. 

Don’t let the excitement of your meetup cloud your judgment.  If you shouldn’t host in your home due to possible family members coming home or a previous agreement with your partner, don’t.  You don’t want to spend years repairing a relationship when damage could have been avoided.  Don’t assume no one will be in your office at night or over lunch and try to meet there; you never know who may come in or overhear your activities.  What about outside in a park or a forest?  This also may not be a good idea; you never know who may be around and could take pictures to post or send to the local authorities.  For that matter, playing in some public spaces could result in charges such as indecent exposure or disturbing the peace if observed by the police.  However, there are still possibilities.

Some options are discussed below.

AirBnb, Vbro, and MisterB&B.

AirBnbs (and similar properties) are always a possibility as a place to meet.  However, always check to make sure that you have the whole place to yourself.  Those that share a common wall with another unit, or in which the host lives on the property, may not be ideal.  Recognize that some AirBnbs rent out a floor, a section of the home, or even just a room.  If you are going to play, you will want the whole place. Sometimes the host may live in the basement or on the second floor.  Also, if you are worried about noise, you may want to avoid duplexes.  Although this might get costly, you can always agree to split the cost.  Note that some hosts get suspicious of parties if the guest has a local address; so, if one of you is from out of town, that might be the better person to name on the reservation.  In addition, review all Airbnb policies carefully.  Some spaces do not allow anyone other than the named renters to occupy the residence, and definitions of what constitutes a prohibited “party” may vary by space and by host.  It is also advisable to check the property for any type of recording device or voice assistant such as Alexa or Google Home, as property owners could possibly ‘drop-in’ or record. 

Giggster, PeerSpace, and DayUse Hotels

Websites like Giggster, PeerSpace, and DayUse allow individuals to rent by the hour as opposed to an AirBnb, which is usually by the day or two.  Gigsteer and PeerSpace include a wide range of settings, many of which may not be suitable for a spanking meetup (e.g., community center meeting room, business offices, etc.). However, there are private homes and apartments that are advertised on these websites.  DayUse is a service available in major metropolitan areas in which hotel rooms may be rented during daytime hours, including from name-brand properties. 

Hotel and Motels

Hotels and motels are always an option for a meetup.  They are often cheaper than an AirBnb; however, they also make some of us nervous due to the thin walls.  Tips for sound are to turn on the TV, turn on the climate control fan system, allow water to run in the shower (although this is wasteful of water resources), and put a towel on the floor at the base of the door.  You can also choose to use implements that do not make as much noise, such as a switch, hand, cane, or brush.  Louder implements such as paddles and straps could be avoided if you are worried about noise.   If you do meet in a hotel, rest assured you are not the first one to do so.  Times during the day where there aren’t many people in their rooms include late morning, early afternoon, or early evening.  You can also request a room at the end of the hall; simply explain to the front desk that you are a light sleeper.

A Friend’s Place

Once you are in the scene for a while in your local spanking community, you may meet a friend who understands the difficulty of hosting and may let you borrow space in their home on occasion.  If you use someone’s place, make sure you clean up everything afterwards.  If you borrow implements, make sure they are put away.  As your mother used to tell you, “leave the place looking better than how you found it.”  Make sure you do not abuse this privilege, as having access to space provided by a friend will be extremely helpful as you start meeting up with people.

Car or Truck

If you have a vehicle and a dark place, you can meet and spank in a vehicle.  However, you will need to exercise caution when doing so, as it can be illegal in some areas.  It is wise to park the car, of course, before any type of spanking play.  However, if you can find a safe but isolated location that does not draw attention, you can have someone lay over your lap or put down the passenger seat all the way and lay over it for some swift smacks to their bottom.  However, like any public place, please be aware of surveillance cameras and local city ordinances. 

Local Kink Club

Some areas may have a club frequented by members of the kink community, including not only spanking but also other forms of BDSM or fetish play.  Sometimes these are full-time clubs with extensive play spaces, and sometimes they are ordinary bars with a single night each week or month that they are opened for this purpose. Memberships may be required.  If public play is acceptable, this may be an option for you. 

Events

While described more fully in another section of this guide, another possibility is to attend a spanking-themed event.  There are multiple events each month, as advertised on Whappz, ranging from local parties in private homes to international gatherings in resort settings.  These events are specifically designed to encourage spanking play, and they are a great way to get a substantial amount of play in a relatively short time period. 

Don’t get discouraged if a meetup does not work out right away.  Be patient and keep discussing options.  It is common to chat for weeks, months, and even years before the stars align for a meetup to happen. 

Excerpted from Strict Sirs and Bad Lads: The World of Male Spanking (by KCGuy and Paddleswats, book forthcoming 2023)